A Dildo Party sales rep will hard-sell you like a used car salesman, and her merchandise will probably have the same horsepower as a 1986 Yugo. 1986 Yugo, however, do not come with complimentary “Tummy Pudding” edible body paints.
You can’t make this stuff up, people.
H/T to Look! A Baby Wolf! for a hilarious read.